Retirement Quotes

Are you retired or getting ready to retire ? You'll enjoy these retirement quotes.  Get ready to truly enjoy life.


A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job.

- Ella Harris

Retirement: World's longest coffee break.

- Unknown

The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.

- Milton Berle

Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I"m home - forever."

- Gene Perret

First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.

- Branch Rickey

There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.

- Bill Watterson

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.

- Doug Larson

Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.

- Gene Perret

Fishing Yesterday. Fishing Today, Fishing Tomorrow, I must be retired.


Retirement is the time when you never do all the things you intended to do when you were still working.


Retirement Quotes

When some fellers decide to retire nobody knows the difference

-Kin Hubbard

Retirement must be w onderful. I mean, you can suck in your stomach for only so long.

-Burt Reynolds

Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money.


There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit . . . . retire!

- Groucho Marx

I'm retired — I'm not dead!

— Unknown

As in all successful ventures, the foundation of a good retirement is planning.

— Earl Nightingale

Retirement: No clock, no deadlines, no stress, no money!


For the loot, honey, for the loot.

— Ava Gardner, (On why she came out of retirement to appear on a prime time soap opera

Retired: Seen it all. Done it all. Can't remember most of it.

— Unknown

Teacher's Retirement Motto: I Used to Teach. Now I Have No Class.

— Unknown

Retired. So I am not interested in anyone telling me about their problems at work.

— Unknown

Retirement Quotes

Slow down and enjoy life [in retirement]. It's not only the scenery you miss by going too fast — you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.

— Eddie Cantor

Retirement is great. I love being my own boss.

— Unknown

Retirement is wonderful if you have two essentials — much to live on and much to live for.


Retired — Someone who knows it all and has way too much time on his hands to tell you.

— Unknown

Age [along with retirement] appears to be best in four things — old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and oldauthors to read.

— Francis Bacon

In your retirement years never drink coffee at lunch; it will keepyou awake in the afternoon.

— Unknown

Retirement is waking up in the morning with nothing to do and by bedtime having done only half of it.

— Unknown

Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.

— Gene Perret

I never stopped doing anything [when I retired], I stopped getting paid for it.

— Bill Chavanne

Retire from work, but not from life.

— M. K. Soni

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